...the Journey...

...worst day ever...

OK so where do i even start.
well lets start with the thing that is bothering me the most right now. And that is that i only have some crappy adds people responding to my blogs. I have only one person actually respond with something true. It is kinnda disapointing cause i am all excited and stuff for a comment on something i wrote and what i get is a crappy thing saying ohh i am glad i found your blog now let me tell you about some stupid service i have for you caus eit looks like you need it. Its crap when i pour my heart out and then have some person respond with a crappy add, it sucks.
Ok now on to the rest of the day, well lets start with bright and early this morning when i woke up at 730 cause i hear this awful country singer singing about how he wants to be famous or something. This music was soo loud. It was comming for the construstion workers who are currently building us a new garage. But at 730 do you really need the music to be blaring away when it is country. Ohh my. I hated it especially cause this is the first morning in a while that i have been able to sleep past 6. So WHOOT WHOOT> but wait stopped but the workers. So pray that i can sleep and have a good restful nite sleep.
Ok now moving right along like 817 my father calls home from work and tells me that my car has a power steering flued leak and that i will need to be filling it basically everytime i stop at a place. (ohh ya soo i heard this loud screeching noise everytime i turned my wheel that was the nite before late so my dad was gunna take a look at it early morning) So when he did he noticed the powersteering thing and also the AMP light was on which is for my battery. So he told me that i needed to take care of my car and that i needed to take it to the macanic and stuff and then told me that i basically needed a new car. And then geting at me cause i need to have cash to pay for a new car and that i need a job to have cash so i should get my butt in gear and get a job. So after my morning wake up and the morning yelling, i thought i would spend some time praying and come time tring to see Jesus in this hole situation. After a bit i felt calm and was able to go back to what i needed to do and i felt level headed again.
So i did up some cover letters and resumes and e-mailed them out to ppl. Then i got dressed and stuff and headed out to see my macanic. Chuck my car guy was saying that i need a new alternater which for my car used would be about 60$. So that isnt that bad and i would put that into my car if it was meaning that i could get some driving out of it. He said it would be fine for a while so i took off and drove into town to do some stuff i needed.
I hung out with Ana again and we just chilled. Once again i love it. She is so much fun to be around. We just did some earns and then eventually went to go see jesse. But jesse wasnt home so we left his house and as we did i heard this loud clunk i was like ohh no you have to be kidding me. So ana and i drove out to my macanics, where he took my car out for a bit and came back with the most stunning entrance. When he pulled back into the shop i watched as the lowerunder half of my car detached itself for the front half. I was in a we. I stood there in pure nothingness. What do you feel when you know that without a car you will have nothing. No job, no social life, no meetings, no coaching, No youth work, no earns no nothing.
So after this ana and i walked to my house where i then told the parents what happened and i got the firm talking to from my dad. NO really yelling but not happy but now really mad more like i am upset at all this and i dunno i will let it show in my voice sorta thing.
Ok so lets just say that after my parents left(had to go pay something) I had a big cry and let everything out. Oh man.
Then Ana and i just hung out and watched a movie and has supper and stuff. But ok this the good thing in my day. I went to this college small group or like young adults small group. It was sweet. We just brought up a topic and all started to talk about it. tonite was the first nite and i loved it. We talked about what is a christian or what makes one? I would love to say that we had answered the question in like 10 mns and moved on but nope we talked for a good like 2 hours about it. It was great we talked alot about...Can gay people be christians? it was really interesting to just hear others views and stuff and i lke that we didnt come up with an answer to anything. we just surfed around and thought different things. It was soo good it reminds me of how many words i use and i dont actually know what they mean or the true meaning.
anywase then my friend rodney drove me home> ohh man that boy is tottaly different that what i can remember him. He is so mature and so adult like. he makes me smile. I love to see people grow and especially my friends. He is so awsome and he is so "Hot" for Jesus right now i am soo excited by that. He is so different and in such goodness and positiveness. Ohh i love it. He is going places and is totally focused on Jesus. wow. it blows me away.
Anywase, so to add to the bad list of today i feel like crap today my tummy has been sore tonite and i dont really know why cause i havent ate anything that i shouldnt or so i think. I have been yelled at today alot by my dad or used the firm tone with and that is hard for me. But i ahve to remember and see him as Jesus sees him and also to be able to see his heart. I now have no car which makes my life soo complicated because what am i to do tommrow when i am stuck at home all day. WoW. And then i dont have money to get a car cause i have no job and with out a job i dont have money to get a car. I am stuck and lost and so completly empty. i am burnt out and at breaking point. Only God will carry me though. So pray cause i know that works and that God hears us and helps us.
So i look onto tommrow with hope for good and positiveness. God gives us only what we can handle so i guess he thinks i can handle it so i better shape up cause i can do this. But only with Him.

posted by Sojourner @ 8:32 PM