Well what can i say today was a day full of nothingness again. I am seriously the most baringest person alive. Or at least the greatest Bum or slacker lately. Let me see what did i do today....Umm...I went to a job interview and went out for Gelotto with my mom. I sure do miss Vancouver for that one. Mondo gelotto soo good. But getting it here in town sucks. Oh man. It just tasted like normal ice cream. POOPIE! Oh ya in the morning i made some packages for some of my friends in BC and sent them out to them. That was a fun part of my day. I also had my friend Amanda over we made supper and hung out for a bit then i took her home. She is an awsome person and i love hanging out with her. Pray for her as she is finding it hard like me to move back in with the prentals.
So the picture. I enjoy it b/c as many of you know i am the type of crazy person to fart on other ppl. so i was looking at some stuff on the net and i found these pictures and i think it is the funnest thing ever..well probably not ever but funny for the moment. but ya i like it. I love the topic of farting i think it is the greatest. My friend Tami always laughs when i say fart or
when anyone farts she just cant help it she finds them so funny.
Umm...I also got a sweet phone call yesterday that i forgot to mention. My room matr from England Laura called. It was so good to talk to her. Oh it was nice. We chated for a long time i kindda feel bad about it cause it is soo much money. But i love speaking with her. She is one of the funniest people i know. She "does my head in." ha ha ha
Umm....I dunno this weekend i will get to see or hang out with a friend form High School and she and i havent seen eachother since grad. so it should be good we both have changed so much so it will be nice to to catch up and chill out for bit.
Other than that i have not to many plans this weekend. Umm. i am feeling the effects of having to nice of a day yesterday with the family, lets just say that today has been a hard day. Some stuff that the construction workers did is wrong and ohh man i tell you i would pray not to be those guys because my dad is so mad. i cant take him like that he just yells and complains about everything. He is so inconsiderate in those times. Oh man. Anywase, i should go ppl are coming over and i havent really tidyed much.
the nite life..
I had a beautiful evening! I went out for coffee with a friend. He came over and picked me up so i didnt have to take the perntals van nad insisited on that happening. So we went in to go and get coffee and to see our friend Donna. But donna was having company over in 15 mins so we didnt stay long. then we went to Tim Hortons and got coffee and my fav peach juice. Rodney didnt feel like sitting anywhere or just staying in one spot so we just started to drive and drive and drive. It was soo fun. We ened up going out to our old elemntary school and reminising about old times and then travling on some dirt roads and him pulling over to pee.. ha ha ha. ..then we went to another Tim Hortons in Mitchell and then went to the beach. OHHH my it was beautiful. I cant even describe it. The wind was so strong and the waves were so loud and big. The under toe was so strong it moved sand along the shore. The waves ate up like half the beach. it was crazy. The clouds were around but for some reason there looked like an opening riht where we were. The stars were beautiful. then shore right over the water and onto the beach. Ohh man it was amazing. Then we went to grand bend and then toured back home. Ohh crazyness. i love hanging out with that boy wwe have soo much fun together. i really like his car or being in his car with him we just have alot of good times and chats. I like chatting with him. we seem to have this openess thing about us. I dunno we share stuff to one another. And ohh man i love it, he is such a man of prayer and i bet that i have gotten through this week b/c of ppl like him. Who pray for me and who care for me. Wow ... he's great. Now only if i could change a few things so i could one day be in love with this boy. ha ha ha JK. that could so never happen we are way to different. But he is a great friend and a sick awsome brother. thanks Jesus for blessen me with a brother like him.
on a sad note Jesse left today. That was really sad. Ohh man i feel sad but yet it isnt real so i dunno. I know that i will see him again and that we will be just as great of friends if not better when i see him next. I just hope we keep in contact more this time. He is a gift to me everytime i am with him i feel someing so spectacular. Ohh man he rocks.
I spent alot of my day with Suzi my adopted mom she is moving so i helped her move everything. it was fun. I love her so much.
I also dont think i had one fight with my family today but also i wasnt here much but still. NO fights whoot whoot.
I also hung out with my friend Amanda and everytime hanging with her is a joy. No seriously i really enjoy it.
No job yet. but oh man the calls and the interviews. hopefully i will have something soon. I am getting fustrated or sick of work stuff cause i have nothing. and i want to work but i just cant get hired b/c not alot of places are looking. Anywase, God will give me a job soon. No worries.
well i am beat. gotta sleep.
funnie
...the Journey...
And im stupid cause i posted it twice
ha ha ha haa
Board.
Lets Just say I was alittle Board today. So I had fun with the Camera and this photo program I have. HAa haa expect some more to come since I am stuck at home all alone, miswell make some fun.
Board.
Lets Just say I was alittle Board today. So I had fun with the Camera and this photo program I have. HAa haa expect some more to come since I am stuck at home all alone, miswell make some fun.
Quote of the day
So my old roommate Laura Gave me this quote book thing where i get a quote a day and i really like it. Yesterdays i found quite interesting and this is what it had to say;
Not everyone possesses boundless energy or a conspicuous talent. We are not equally blessed with great intellect or physical beauty or emotional strenght. But we have all been given the same ability to be faithful. -Gigi Graham Tchividjian, 1945
God has an amazing way of speaking to me even thought a book of compiled quotes from all over the world and from all years of life. WOW. God is so mysteriously ASTONISHING.
God has given me what I can handle.
The title is my moto lately. I am constantly reminding myself of this becasuse not much seems to be on the good side lately. Well lets leave it at this. Pray for my family. there is alot of stress and family problems that are becoming so big and soo much for me to handle. i cant take it some times i just have to leave which isnt always possible b/c i dont have a car. Ohh God reign in this house. I cry.
Not gunna say much more but honestly time here is really rough and i wanna give up. Between losing my car, my health problems, family and money, thats enough to make me feel like crap.
So pray because a friend Ray said this to me at the begining of the week "God give some ppl more stuff like this because he knows you can handle it and he wouldnt give you more than what you can handle" So i hold onto that. Pushing through and pressing on towards the goal that God has set for me, but it will be your prayers that will help carry me though. So pray. Seek God on how to pray and trust that the Holy Spirit will Guide you in the right direction. thanks be to Jesus.
...Whatz up dawg...
Highlight.
i started dance today. But not just any dance Hip Hop. it is soo sweet i know a hole dance. But you wanna know the funnie thing...I have campers from the camp that i councelled at like 5 years ago in my class. its funnie. But ohh do i love it. Thug walk in all.
Umm soo i meant with Pastor dave today to talk about me possibly working with the youth at church and getting paid for it. So ya it went well he said that they have alot of people in mind but mind you this position has not been filled for a whole year. And throughout the whole year they have said this soo i dunno. Well see maybe God doesnt want me in there right now.
Anywase, so i kinnda got a job at Bluenotes today. I say kindda cause it is like my third interview and who does a third interview? So i guess it is more like the tecnical stuff. But i am only there part time. But its still a job so WHOOT WHOOT>
so nothing much else today. ohh ya see you at the pole. a big nation wide prayer thing for students to pray for their schools. It was neat. ya.
i miss hanging out with my friends. no car=no way to see friends.
booooo
ok well today was exacally that. nothing happened. I got yelled at or firmly spoken too by the rents and such. I got told that i need to be applying to more places. even tho that is all i did this morning. and watch some TV. But anywase, so today was boring.
but then my dear friend Rodney aka Hotrod came and picked me up to go to youth group together. So we went as leaders and took part. We both had alot of fun and ohh i love those youth. I am so glad i get to hang out with them. however that was not the most exciting part. Rodney drove me home since i dont have a car and i cant get anywhere-maybe that is why my day was boring, duh. As we are pulling into my drive way be begin to get into a more indepth convo. We are begining to chat more and more and finally we hit a climax point where our convo has hit the out of comfort zones. He opened up to me about something that has been on his heart for a while. We chated for a long time we even drove around the block and came back to sit there for about a good 45 mins. I loved it. He has become such a man of God or is still becomeing cause i think everyone is still becomeing. But anywase, it was so cool to chat with him and to have him open up to me and for me to be able to be there for him to talk to. I love it. I dont know if i have ever been that close with him but i am sure knowing now that i am close with him and we will be chatting more like this. He is such a great person to talk to. He doesnt have much to say back all the time but he is a guy and guys dont always have stuff to say. Anywase, thats my day.
...worst day ever...
OK so where do i even start.
well lets start with the thing that is bothering me the most right now. And that is that i only have some crappy adds people responding to my blogs. I have only one person actually respond with something true. It is kinnda disapointing cause i am all excited and stuff for a comment on something i wrote and what i get is a crappy thing saying ohh i am glad i found your blog now let me tell you about some stupid service i have for you caus eit looks like you need it. Its crap when i pour my heart out and then have some person respond with a crappy add, it sucks.
Ok now on to the rest of the day, well lets start with bright and early this morning when i woke up at 730 cause i hear this awful country singer singing about how he wants to be famous or something. This music was soo loud. It was comming for the construstion workers who are currently building us a new garage. But at 730 do you really need the music to be blaring away when it is country. Ohh my. I hated it especially cause this is the first morning in a while that i have been able to sleep past 6. So WHOOT WHOOT> but wait stopped but the workers. So pray that i can sleep and have a good restful nite sleep.
Ok now moving right along like 817 my father calls home from work and tells me that my car has a power steering flued leak and that i will need to be filling it basically everytime i stop at a place. (ohh ya soo i heard this loud screeching noise everytime i turned my wheel that was the nite before late so my dad was gunna take a look at it early morning) So when he did he noticed the powersteering thing and also the AMP light was on which is for my battery. So he told me that i needed to take care of my car and that i needed to take it to the macanic and stuff and then told me that i basically needed a new car. And then geting at me cause i need to have cash to pay for a new car and that i need a job to have cash so i should get my butt in gear and get a job. So after my morning wake up and the morning yelling, i thought i would spend some time praying and come time tring to see Jesus in this hole situation. After a bit i felt calm and was able to go back to what i needed to do and i felt level headed again.
So i did up some cover letters and resumes and e-mailed them out to ppl. Then i got dressed and stuff and headed out to see my macanic. Chuck my car guy was saying that i need a new alternater which for my car used would be about 60$. So that isnt that bad and i would put that into my car if it was meaning that i could get some driving out of it. He said it would be fine for a while so i took off and drove into town to do some stuff i needed.
I hung out with Ana again and we just chilled. Once again i love it. She is so much fun to be around. We just did some earns and then eventually went to go see jesse. But jesse wasnt home so we left his house and as we did i heard this loud clunk i was like ohh no you have to be kidding me. So ana and i drove out to my macanics, where he took my car out for a bit and came back with the most stunning entrance. When he pulled back into the shop i watched as the lowerunder half of my car detached itself for the front half. I was in a we. I stood there in pure nothingness. What do you feel when you know that without a car you will have nothing. No job, no social life, no meetings, no coaching, No youth work, no earns no nothing.
So after this ana and i walked to my house where i then told the parents what happened and i got the firm talking to from my dad. NO really yelling but not happy but now really mad more like i am upset at all this and i dunno i will let it show in my voice sorta thing.
Ok so lets just say that after my parents left(had to go pay something) I had a big cry and let everything out. Oh man.
Then Ana and i just hung out and watched a movie and has supper and stuff. But ok this the good thing in my day. I went to this college small group or like young adults small group. It was sweet. We just brought up a topic and all started to talk about it. tonite was the first nite and i loved it. We talked about what is a christian or what makes one? I would love to say that we had answered the question in like 10 mns and moved on but nope we talked for a good like 2 hours about it. It was great we talked alot about...Can gay people be christians? it was really interesting to just hear others views and stuff and i lke that we didnt come up with an answer to anything. we just surfed around and thought different things. It was soo good it reminds me of how many words i use and i dont actually know what they mean or the true meaning.
anywase then my friend rodney drove me home> ohh man that boy is tottaly different that what i can remember him. He is so mature and so adult like. he makes me smile. I love to see people grow and especially my friends. He is so awsome and he is so "Hot" for Jesus right now i am soo excited by that. He is so different and in such goodness and positiveness. Ohh i love it. He is going places and is totally focused on Jesus. wow. it blows me away.
Anywase, so to add to the bad list of today i feel like crap today my tummy has been sore tonite and i dont really know why cause i havent ate anything that i shouldnt or so i think. I have been yelled at today alot by my dad or used the firm tone with and that is hard for me. But i ahve to remember and see him as Jesus sees him and also to be able to see his heart. I now have no car which makes my life soo complicated because what am i to do tommrow when i am stuck at home all day. WoW. And then i dont have money to get a car cause i have no job and with out a job i dont have money to get a car. I am stuck and lost and so completly empty. i am burnt out and at breaking point. Only God will carry me though. So pray cause i know that works and that God hears us and helps us.
So i look onto tommrow with hope for good and positiveness. God gives us only what we can handle so i guess he thinks i can handle it so i better shape up cause i can do this. But only with Him.
...sisters home...
Sister: a person who you are related to by blood, friendship, simularities, and common interests. Oh so you would think. My sister and i are completly different people. She is all about school and is going through to be a school teacher and principal. But then there is me on the other hand all into NO school. She is very dedicated and such a hard worker. When she wants something she gets it. Her and her boyfriend Brian came home to visit this weekend. It wasnt that bad cause some times when my sister and i get under the same ruff we will yell and scream at eachother, but this time has been plasent. The three of us got Spanglish yesterday and watched it last nite together. Its a great movie. I think it shows so much on how mothers and daughters should be.
I didnt really do much else but i went to drop off my resumes at 2 places and i hope one of them or both i will get a job with.
I also stopped at Ana's house. Ohh man do i ever love that gurl. We had some great talks and some good thought provoking convos. She is a great friend and i am so happy to have a friendship with her. Thanks God.
Ohh and today. May i tell you the church i go to is amazing. I dont like the music alot but it is getting better from when i started. But i tell you God uses Pastor Dave to Speak to me almost every sunday.
This sunday he talked about having a vision. Which is perfect as i just came home and i dont know where my vision fits or what it specifically is. I just know bits and pieces. So it was perfectly in lined with what is going on in my life. As he was talking to us i was writing franticaly i couldnt keep up it was crazy. We looked at Acts 26 where Paul gets this vision for the people who dont have an intimate relationship with Jesus. And that is what I see. I have this passion and longing for others to see and meet my best friend who runs and controls my life. Ohh man it was good and it has just started my thought process. As you can see.
Anywho, i am off gotta go and return the sisiter and brian to their homes. Where they can be the nerds that they are and study study study and get all those A++ Ohh man if only i could get that. ha ah ha but i think that would require me to become some super natural school liking person. ha ha .
Have a good one and take the time today to reflect on Jesus' vision for your life and where he would like to put you no matter where it is, even if it is at the local Tim Hortons just talking to the customers and being a smiling face to them. Think about it. Where is your vision?
sleep..
I am dead tired.
but i cant sleep
i hate antibotics
i dont like to be sick
cant i just be healthy
i am excited to only take one pill and even that is bad
the drugs do weird things with my head
i feel spacie and all on a cloud like
i dont like it
God take control
my head hurts and my muscles are sore
my eyes are dry cause on average i get like 5 hours sleep
i have been on this for too long and staying awake for even longer
i need to get off this medicine and be in no pain
only by God can that happen
and i am learning through this so
i feel that i need to follow the docs orders
sleepy man come visit me please.
i beg of you.
put me to sleep.
playing nurse.
I am so lucky had all my wisdome teeth come in straight and not have to be pulled. So looking after jesse today cause he got all four of his out was really fun. He was a very funnie boy cosidering that all his teeth were missing in the back of his mouth he was still able to make me laugh has to say somethin. THE GREATEST PART was when he tried to eat and the food just oozed out his mouth. We just sat on the couch all day and watched law and order and everybody loves raymond. it was a good lazy day.
But on the contrary i ddint hand out resumes and such. sO possibly waking up tommrow and delivering some.
sO THOUGHT of the day. what do i want to be doing? what is my love or my utmost love besides God? like what am i best at?
this is a hard question for me to answer right now...
I love working with youth and such but what area. i need to narrow it down...i try i will try harder. pray for me as i continue on this transistion stage and try and think through the thoughts that you have after you ahve graduated college and am now heading full time into the working world of adults. AHHAH
the greatness of my day will consume all...
WOW sweet day. helped at a golf tournament with Youth For Christ today and there was 20 golfers and they raised 19000$ dollars. WOW sick awsome, thanks Jesus. um..then i hung out with my friend ana and we went shopping for a bit and i got new sandles-as my other ones i am now walking on the ground. they are beautiful and from sears who new sears has sweet shoes and for cheap. I got nice brown and bead flip flops for 7$ NIce.
then we went phone shopping. it is so fun to shop with ana. Oh and a highlight..ring shopping we went in and picked out our wedding rings ha ha ha....so far from getting wed but it was fun.
Then we went and visited our friends mom who is not with us anymore and it was nice to see her. I miss her daughter and i miss seeing her family so it was good to be around their house more and i am looking forward to seeing her more. Hard thing but a good thing, its weird to be over there without my friend Jen.
then we went and got to gurl friends and headed to my house for some movie watchen and hangen out. just the four gurls who i love to be with. i havent seen Emily in soo long and i really enjoy amandas company and her friendship.
then just as we get home to my suprise my mom tells me that 2 boys on motobikes were by and they wanted to see me. They were jesse and his brother. they left and came back and then watched our gurl movie with us. I loved it.
It was over all a great day and i hardly had much pain but probly cause i am on so much medication. I also got offered two jobs today so that is really exciteding maybe i can actually work...well possibly i dunno....
anywase, God was really relivent in my day today in every place i looked i could see him we shopped for shoes together..
not what i was expecting.
doctors: people who have way too much training and can tell you the things you either want to hear or really dont want to hear...
and for me today it was what i didnt want to hear.
i am getting sicker. BOOO URNS!! i am not on 11 pills a day for the next couple weeks. I pray that these next two weeks are easy and go smoothly. then back to the docs i go for another exam or test. WHOOT how exciting.
Jesse and i hung out again and once again it rocked my world.
My mom and i went shopping today. It was nice although i enjoy wearing skate brand names and such it is just too expensive soo today my mom and i went to Walmart and got some sweet skirts. It was fun to just chill with my mom. she is so small and cute. aha ha i couldnt find her in some stores and so i called out little one little one and she came to mee. ohh it was funny.
so pray and rely on God that he will get me through and pull me outta this mess that my body and i are in. Jesus and i are having a dependable day today cause i couldnt have made it through my day with out Him. He is my strenght and sheild. Thanks JC.
I love being a Bum..
Man i tell you bums have it made. I dont think i ahve not really had anything on my agenda for like 3 years now. I am always a go go go kindda person that now when i dont have ANYTHING i love it.
I had a great day tho. I ment with my "mom" and we chated about how i can help her with the Youth For Christ work she does. So i have alot ahead of me but i am excited to help her.
I also went to the unemployment office and i remembered how crappy it is to be looking for a job. I tell ya it really does sux. the amount of jobs i dont qualify for overwhelms the amout of jobs that i do actually qualify for. It suxs and i dont want to get a crappy like 7.00$ an hour kindda job i want something decent and that will help me to provide for myself. How impratical is that? Is that too much to ask for? Possibly in a town of such smallness.
Ohh highlight of the day ......Whoot WHOOT!!!!! i hung out with my friend Jesse. I love him. Not like all romantically. but i truely do care about him. We had supper at my house and we went to london and went window shopping and laughed alot. We were crazy together. We had some excellent chats and i really appreciate him and our friendship. I think i forgot how much i enjoy this boy.....i am sad to think that he will leave at the end of this month. What will i do? i know i will call him like everyday and then my parents can pay for the calls to the USA. ha ha ha-Evil Laugh-
Well tommrow i have a doc's appointment and i am alittle nervous because it could be great or bad. Surgery or no? meds or no? I dunno..pray for me.
Ohh ya Jesus and i spent some sweet time together today praying for the youth of stratford. ohh man my heart crys out for them. i interceed for them
Well yup thats about alll...still missen the home of BC....
a day of non excitement.
Well today was a day spent with me for the most part. Minus the simple fact that i cant take living at home again. all i got was told that i need to be aplying for this anglican church job cause they want a youth leader. My parents being the no patcience want me to do everything right on the spot. And how do you explain to them that you are just taking some time and spending it with Jesus and you, waiting until he says what to do. But they dont see that and they just get angry at me.
Then there is my mom who yells at the photo lab lady cause she thinks she got charged to much when really she didnt the store just has alot of fess that you have to pay for. Needless to say i stood there for like a good 15 mins as she remed this lady out. It was the worst.
AH its the third or secondish day home and i am already wanting to go back to the place that i truely call my home, British Columbia. Oh God help me.
begining blocks
the journey began along time ago. but let me fill you in on the past two weeks. i have been living in BC for 2 years or so now and have created my home there. i love it there. i fit. you know how everyone just has this one area-and some lucky people more than one-that we just find our wedge. well that was mine. but now i moved back to Ontario where i live with my parents who are very much act like i am 13 kindda parents. i am sure it is just hard for them to see me as an established person of society.
So lets just say that today was the second full day of me now living at home with my parents again, and i wasnt home very much. i dunno what i am doing to do here in this small town. i guess i should get a job. god has brought me here so i will be patient and wait for Him cause He is faithful. he has something in store for me and i am excited for whatever it is. so until then i am a bum. sitten on my bum scrapbooking a hole crap load of pictures from my childhood and watchen T.V. so now what i pray and seek God for answers and directions for my future. the future may look uncertain to me now but i know it will get clear just when i need it to be.
in order to realize the worth of the anchor we need to feel the stress of the strom. corrie boom
...the Journey...
when anyone farts she just cant help it she finds them so funny.
